I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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