I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize