I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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