Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I am one with the molecules
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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