im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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