You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
