plz talk dirty to me
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
