Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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