i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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