I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have aggressive nipples.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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