Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
