Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
