I hate all girls vehemently.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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