there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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