You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Randomize
