Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
