So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
