I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
