yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
