I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
