I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
