I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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