She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
