Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
