Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
