We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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