I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
