: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
