Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
