I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
