their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize