there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
