Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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