She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
