I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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