apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
