I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
