hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
