Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
