I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
