I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
