Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
