It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
