we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
