I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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