Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
