How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
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