I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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