Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
