So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
