Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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