not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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