I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
